There is setting an ambitious goal and there’s setting an impossible one. Unfortunately, Scotland have opted for the latter.
The board and coaching staff at Scottish Rugby have sat down and discussed a four year plan from which they concluded that a realistic target would be:
- To win a Six Nations Grand Slam.
- To win the World Cup.
"The goals we've set reflect our ambition for the game in Scotland," said chief executive Mark Dodson.
"With unity, and support from the whole nation, there is no reason we can't achieve those goals."
He added, "There's no reason why we can't win a World Cup or a Six Nations.
"We've got some fantastic athletes working in Scottish rugby who are capable of great things.
Legendary goal-kicker Chris Paterson has recently joined the coaching team and he was equally delusional stating,
“In the Six Nations, Scotland won zero out of five, and certainly the first three could have been wins against England, Wales and France.
"So you could have been going into the last two games against Ireland and Italy looking for two wins for a Grand Slam.”
If they genuinely believe what is coming out of their mouths and actually think that they can win the next World Cup, they’re in dream land. Yes, theoretically they were the most successful Northern Hemisphere team to tour the Southern Hemisphere by beating Australia in the driving rain and the Pacific Islands of Samoa and Fiji. However, it comes on the back of a World Cup in which they failed to qualify for the knockout stages and a Six Nations campaign in which they lost every single game.
Just in case you need any more reason to doubt their optimism, this should put it beyond doubt. First of all there are only two full-time professional teams in Scotland following the collapse of Borders Reivers in 2007. Neither Glasgow Warriors nor Edinburgh have enjoyed any success since the Celtic League was formed and their most prestigious moment came when Edinburgh managed to smuggle themselves into the semi-finals of the Heineken Cup this year. Glasgow made some considerable progress this season in the league but they’re by no means a good rugby team.
England pick the bulk of their national team from the 12 Aviva Premiership teams, the French have the top 14 teams at their disposal as Wales & Ireland have their 4 regions and provinces respectively. Even if both teams were filled with Scottish players, that would still only mean 44 players to pick from.
One of the reasons that the Borders team folded was a lack of funds, a situation that hasn’t changed. There is no money in Scottish Rugby despite increasing their surplus from £1.6m to £3.1. Ireland and Wales are still in the economic shadow of England and France while Scotland is a mere spec in the distance.
Part of their economic frailty comes from its constant competition with football. For reasons unbeknown to most of us outsiders, the Scottish population worship the distinctly average Scottish premier league. In spite of Glasgow Rangers all but being shown the door of top flight football, the coverage will be all football. Anyone who’s been to Scotland know that the back pages are dominated by football even more so than in the English tabloids and the fact that Celtic will have the title wrapped up before Christmas next year won’t make a blind bit of difference to the column inches is receives.
Although Edinburgh is a beautiful city and an international match-day experience is simply superb, Scottish rugby as a whole is probably the least attractive in World Rugby. It starts at the clubs; with Edinburgh themselves playing their home matches at the 67,200 capacity Murray field Stadium. Anyone who’s sat in the stadium will know how cold it can get, even with a full house. It’s hard to comprehend that it would be an enjoyable viewing experience for those that go and watch a league game. The average attendance for all Edinburgh’s matches was less than 3,500 and their record highest crowd came this year when they played against bath in the Heineken Cup, it was a meagre 5,850. On average, the stadium is 5.08% full, which is an absolute disgrace and anyone who works on the marketing team at Edinburgh should consider themselves very lucky to still be employed. There is absolutely no reason for them to be playing their games there and why they’re not seeking relocation is a mystery.
Scotland have always been the ugly sisters at the pantomime when it comes to playing styles and the way in which they’re perceived in the Southern Hemisphere is quite comical. When New Zealand’s Fox Sports were covering the 2012 Six Nations, there was a weekly review show on Sunday evenings. On this show there was a weekly slot reserved for the tongue-in-cheek segment of ‘Scotland’s Highlights’. In this part of the show, they showcased the best of Scotland’s negative play. Regular features included the up-and-under, slow ball at the back of a ruck, the rolling maul and the aimless kicking from turnover ball. The panellists ribbed Andy Robinson’s men and their incapability of playing even the most remotely entertaining rugby week after week.
If the summer tours have taught us anything, it’s that the skills required at the top of the game are at an all time high. With defences so well drilled nowadays, genuine try-scoring opportunities are few and far between; it’s the sides that are have the ability to convert these chances into 5-pointers that win games. New Zealand are comfortably the best at this followed by Australia and South Africa. Some way behind them are England, Wales, France and Ireland. Meanwhile, in a land far, far away you’ll find Scotland.
They play the most negative brand of rugby on the planet and their lack of enterprise has strangled the life out of Scottish rugby. It’s understandable that with the lack of player quality, Andy Robisnon would have seen conservative selection of Dan Parks as a kicking back as the right way to go. But with Chris Paterson and Parks calling time on their international careers it’s a perfect opportunity for him to adopt a more inventive game-plan.
Scott Johnson is the coaching staff’s newest recruit. Johnson first burst onto the British scene as a long-haired, short-wearing, arm-waving Aussie lunatic who was the mastermind behind Wales’ 2005 Grand Slam success. Stephen Jones, Shane Williams, Gavin Henson, Gareth Thomas and Martyn Williams all noted in their autobiographies the positive impact he had on that Welsh squad while he was skills coach. Yet, since, these characteristics have somewhat deserted him. As Ospreys’ Director of Rugby, he turned into a much more defensive rugby man. His pedigree and rugby brain are undoubtedly astute, but the percentage kicking game seen at the Liberty Stadium under his reign was painfully uninspiring. Given the decline of his adventurous side, it’s going to be a waiting game as to whether or not it’s a decent appointment.
The pinnacle of any British rugby player’s career is a British & Irish Lions tour. There have been very few Scottish representatives on these trips in recent years which is further evidence of their shortcomings as a rugby nation. From the original selected touring squad, in 2001 there were 3 Scots, there were 3 again in 2005 and a rather lonely 2 travelled to South Africa in 2009.
Back in 2007, the representatives of the Scottish Ruby Union set out some objectives in their strategic plan. They were:
- Achieve a top 8 IRB World Ranking status by 2012.
- Reach the quarter finals of the 2007 & 2011 World Cups.
- Increase the 6 Nations win rate from 25% to 40%.
- Win the 6 Nations at least once by 2012.
After their summer tour they moved up from 12th to 9th in the world rankings. They failed to progress from their group at both world cups. Scotland’s win rate percentage dropped from 25% to 13% in the 6 Nations where since 2007 they’ve come last twice and last-but-one the other four times.
Whoever comes up with these strategic plans needs to check thems4elves into rehab, because there is absolutely no hope of Scotland winning the next world cup or even the 6 Nations in the near future. If the powers that be genuinely think that if by some miracle they managed to trespass into the knockout stages of the world cup, they’d be able to beat the Wallabies in the quarters, the Springboks in the semis and then the All Blacks in the final; they’re bigger idiots than we originally thought.
Despite declining since 2007, they’ve increased their ambition in the 6 Nations. They’re no longer contempt with just winning it, they was the grand slam. You need to win 5 games in a row in order to win the grand slam as Wales did this year. Scotland have won 5 games in the last 6 years in the 6 Nations, but they’re confident that they’ve turned that corner now? They’ve also realised that they’re better than a top 8 finish in the world cup and they deserve to be the best team on the planet.
You’ve got to admire their farfetched ambition, but the audacity of the whole concept is laughable. They will not win the next world cup; neither will they win a grand slam; that’s one of the safest sporting predictions that can be made. That is of course unless they have a source at the Met Office and they’ve been told that the weather forecast for the next 4 years is heavy rain and gale-force winds across the globe. Even then, they’d be up against it.
Come on, you sweaty’s. Get a grip.
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